Breaking the Rules

     Never, ever eat at a franchise restaurant!  That is one of my simple rules by which I attempt to always abide.  But last Friday night I broke that rule when I decided to redeem a $25 gift card I received in the mail from the local Bonefish Grill franchise what opened recently in nearby Montgomeryville.  The reason was due to an abrupt change of plans providing me with an unexpected night out of the kitchen.  So I headed over to see if this place was any different from the rest.

     Requesting a corner booth so I could safely watch the crowd with my back to the wall I was promptly greeted by my server who began with her scripted introduction directing me to the back of the plastic menu where the specialty (read: higher priced) drinks were listed.  Declining to have anything stronger than iced tea, which I thought was a bit steep at $2.70,  she then recited the house special "crave-worthy" appetizers and entrees which included something called "Bang-bang shrimp."  And even before I could read through the large print menu I was asked to place my order.

     It wasn't very long before my cup of corn chowder with lump crab arrived, luke warm.  That was probably due to the fact that it hadn't spent sufficient time in the microwave.  No doubt it had been prepared weeks earlier in some central kitchen midway between Florida and Maine and shipped in a 55 gallon drum by refrigerated truck.  It was so devoid of flavor that it needed a strong dose of hot sauce to make it memorable.

     After languishing through the soupy appetizer I hoped that my soft shell crab cake would be better.  It was, after all, a novel concept: a soft shell crab stuffed with crab meat.  But what arrived at my table was a contradiction in terms.  The crab meat, loaded with filler, was soggy while the shell was hard and dried out.  It caused me to wonder when the poor crab last saw salt water.  And the accompanying asparagus could not be revived.  It was thick and sullen.  I accidentally dented one spear in an attempt to cut through it.  Sadly, the highlight of the meal was the warm rectangular mini-loaf of bread that was served with seasoned EVOO.

     Yet the staff was friendly and attentive.  No less than 3 managers stopped by my table to ask how I was enjoying my meal.  I barely was able to get a bite down between conversations.  In their literature they make the bold assertion that diners will receive "an inspired dinner that opens your eyes."  Well, at least the last part of that claim is accurate.  With the gift card my final bill came to 53 cents.  I think I paid too much.